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From Loss to New Life: Post-Traumatic Growth After ECT

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Post-Traumatic Growth After ECT

This post was inspired by Linda Andre’s presentation, ECT as a Head Injury, and the ECT survivors she mentions who found ways to rehabilitate themselves when their doctors wouldn’t help them.

“Many courageous and hardworking survivors have [built a new self and a new life] —but they have until now always had to do it alone, without any help, and it has taken a sizable chunk of their lifetimes to do it.”

Linda Andre

Early in my recovery this was the first time I’d read examples of peers who overcame the disabilities they faced after having ECT.

“As time goes on, I have made a great effort to regain the maximum use of my brain by forcing it to concentrate and to try to remember what I hear and read. It has been a struggle… I feel like I have been able to maximize the undamaged parts of my brain…I still mourn the loss of a life that I didn’t have.”

(Calvert, 1990)

“…I programmed my materials by writing out questions for each sentence and writing the answers on the back of the cards. I then quizzed myself until the material was memorized. I have all the cards from two courses. What a stack… I memorized the book, practically… and worked five to six hours a day on weekends and three or four during the work week… It was quite different from when I was in college. Then, I read things and remembered them.

Maccabee, 1989

“I wish that some brain trauma research and rehabilitation center would accept a few ECT patients and at least see if practicing or “reprogramming” of cognitive skills could result in improved performance.

Maccabee, 1990

Like them, I struggled to find answers and support after being disabled by electroshock. I was desperate to find more stories like these, hoping they would help me figure out how to fix my broken life.

In this post, I’ll introduce three concepts that can help us understand the recovery process so many go through after ECT:

  • Post-traumatic growth
  • Tragic optimism
  • Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

I share how these ideas shaped my recovery and include links to others’ recovery stories as well as resources for common problems people face after ECT. My goal is to show those beginning their recovery journey that there is life after ECT and offer insights based on others’ experiences.

Share Your Recovery Story

Recovery after ECT looks different for everyone, but your story could be the guide someone else needs. If you’ve found ways to heal, adapt, or rebuild, consider sharing to encourage those newly facing this challenge. We’d love to hear from you!

Share your story by commenting below, visit our contact page or email us at contact@lifeafterect.com.

Disclaimers

Just a heads-up: I’m not a mental health professional—just sharing some well-known frameworks that have helped me and others make sense of our experiences. Learn more.

Content warnings:

  • Brief mentions of suicide and abuse

Life in the Desert

Life in the desert is full of surprises. The winter months are cold, dark, and quiet, but when spring arrives, theres an explosion of life. Flowers, lizards, insects and birds take over every inch of this extreme landscape.

What really stood out to me were the cacti. Many that seemed withered and lifeless months earlier now had new pads and flowers growing from seemingly dead plant matter.

Intrigued, I did a little research and learned this process, known as corking, happens as a cactus matures and faces environmental stressors. Over time, the base of the cactus sheds its spines and develops a rough, bark-like texture that strengthens the plant’s structure and provides essential support for future growth.

This transformation struck me as a beautiful analogy to post-traumatic growth after ECT.

What is Post-Traumatic Growth?

Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) is the idea that people can experience positive psychological changes after going through stressful events. These events challenge how individuals see the world and their role in it. PTG leads to significant changes in thinking and self-perception, contributing to personal growth.

Post Traumatic Growth is Not Toxic Positivity

I’ve had toxic positivity pushed on me during times when I needed support, not someone smugly telling me that I was being taught a lesson, and that my suffering was beneficial– and I should embrace it. I want to preface that I don’t view post-traumatic growth this way.

Tragic Optimism

Bad things happen—that’s part of life on this planet. Every living creature faces threats like extreme weather, predators, starvation, injury, illness, and death. Yet life has found extraordinary ways to thrive inspite of them. I see post traumatic growth as a natural survival adaptation that can happen under the right conditions.

Zero Room for Judgment

Whether or not someone grows from a traumatic experience, people in crisis need support and understanding—not judgment. No one should be shamed for responding to their pain in their own way. Nor should anyone be expected to make a spontaneous recovery from brain damage unaided.

Toxic Positivity vs Tragic Optimism

Toxic positivity and tragic optimism are two different ways of dealing with challenges and emotions. Toxic positivity insists on staying positive no matter what, often ignoring or dismissing negative feelings like sadness or anger.

This can prevent people from processing emotions and lead to unresolved stress. Tragic optimism, on the other hand, accepts that suffering is part of life and focuses on finding meaning in it. It embraces both struggles and positivity, promoting resilience and a deeper sense of purpose.

Dangerous Conditions

Sometimes a cactus turning brown at the base can mean death instead of growth. Poor conditions—like too much water or bad soil—can cause the plant to rot and die. The same is true for those of us recovering from ECT-induced brain damage. Without the right conditions, recover becomes much harder.

For most of us, after ECT, there’s no testing, no referrals, and no aftercare—nothing. Many doctors won’t even acknowledge we have brain damage, let alone help us find rehabilitation.

That’s alarming, especially since these side effects have been known for decades and is even acknowleged by ECT device makers. Unlike other legitimate medical procedures like orthopedic surgery, psychiatry makes no meaningful effort to address them. Not only that, the American Psychiactric Association ensured those harmed by ECT will have to continue to fight for recognition because the American Psychiactric Association opposed mandatory testing proposed by the FDA.

Undiagnosed and untreated brain damage can create conditions for suicide. It impacts relationships, self-care, autonomy—every corner of your life. And the health issues many of us have from electrical injuries or psychiatric medications only make the process of rehabilitation even harder.

Conditions Needed for Recovery After ECT

Recovery is much harder without the right tools and support. Friends and family often expect us to just “move on,” but without real help, it’s not that simple. We can’t just slap on a smile and go back to how things were.

It’s a lot like a broken arm. If it’s diagnosed, reset, and protected, it’ll heal properly, and you can get back to normal. But if it’s not taken care of, it takes longer to heal, might heal the wrong way, and could cause long-term problems. Recovery after ECT isn’t any different.

The Cost of ECT patient neglect

If my side effects had been taken seriously and I’d received help early, I wouldn’t have spent over a decade enduring the daily trauma of undiagnosed, untreated brain damage. I lost relationships and couldn’t make new ones. Unable to work, I lived in poverty, faced daily humiliation, and watched my self-esteem crumble—all while doctors told me I sounded fine. This made me suicidal for years.

Did I figure out how to survive? Yes, Barely. With luck and outside support, I otherwise would not have. But now I’m left carrying the trauma of these experiences on top of everything else. If I’d been believed and supported early, I could have come through it with so much less damage.

And while some, like me, manage to keep going with the right conditions and support, others tragically cannot—including Linda Andre, the brilliant woman who inspired this post. ECT induced brain damage trapped her in a toxic situation with no way out. It’s beyond tragic—and far more common than most can imagine. Putting someone in this impossible situation is nothing short of cruelty.

Finding the Right Conditions: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

In a low state, you can't see anywhere near your upper potential. Jim Carrey, Halle Berry, and Sylvester Stallone became movie stars, but did you know that they each were homeless at one point in their lives? Do you think they could see their superstar potential then, when they were worried about shelter and food? You can't see the true ceiling for your life, only the obstacles above you right now. Stephen Guise The Magic of Momentum

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs can be a useful framework for understanding recovering from ECT. Created by psychologist Abraham Maslow in 1943, it organizes human needs into levels, starting with basic needs (like food, safety, and relationships) and progressing to growth needs (like personal growth and purpose). Each level builds on the one before.

A graphic representation of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, depicted as a pyramid with five levels, each a different color and labeled with a corresponding need. The base, in red, is labeled "Physiological needs" and includes "food, water, warmth, rest." Above it, in orange, is "Safety needs" with "security, safety." The middle level, in green, is "Belongingness & love needs" with "intimate relationships, friends." The next level, in blue, is "Esteem needs" with "prestige, feeling of accomplishment." The top, in purple, is "Self-actualization" with "achieving one's full potential, including creative activities." To the right of the pyramid are three categories: "Basic needs" spanning the bottom two levels, "Psychological needs" spanning the middle two levels, and "Self-fulfillment needs" at the top.
Visual Representation of Maslow’s Heigherarchy of Needs

After ECT, we find ourselves at different stages of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Basic essentials like safe housing, food, healthcare, and social support can be at risk after acquiring a disability. Some are trapped in abusive living situations that they cannot escape because of their disablity. Others are homeless.

Some require specialized medical care for unique health issues caused by ECT. Brain damage recovery often takes years, and without access to proper rehabilitation, many of us are forced to rely on self-developed strategies to survive.

In many cases, these fundamental needs must be met before we can focus on rebuilding lost skills.

My Experience With Art After ECT

I was raised in a hyper-critical environment that stifled my natural artistic talent before I had the chance to develop it. Then, in 2006, brain damage from ECT stripped away my capacity to enjoy art. I lost all interest in both creating and appreciating it. However, a part of me still wanted to reconnect with that side of myself. Over the years, I occasionally tried to revisit this hobby but any attempts I made felt empty and meaningless and I’d set it aside.

Then in 2015, I found some simple YouTube tutorials for kids, bought some Sharpies and sketch pads from the Dollar Tree, and started drawing with my sisters. We laughed till we cried at our comically amateurish results, turning drawing badly into a contest to see whose drawing was the worst.

a collage of 3 comically bad ink drawings of the same Neil DeGrasse Tyson meme. Fingers faces and eyes are misshapen.
Sorry, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. lol.

That year, I completed more works of art than I had in my entire life before ECT. As my skills grew, I explored different mediums and styles, and even participated in international art events.

A black-and-white ink drawing shows a whimsical stick figure with a round head, wide smile, and a tattered suit. It wears a tall, crooked top hat with a feather and holds a small pipe in its mouth. One arm is raised in a wave, and the other extends sideways. The figure stands on a thin stick, resembling a scarecrow. Sparse lines of grass and abstract shapes are sketched below. A signature and date, "11-5-17," are in the lower right corner. The style is sketchy and expressive, with varying line weights adding movement and character.

Rolling with the Punches

In 2019 I had shoulder surgery that made it impossible to draw with my dominant hand so I learned to draw with my right.

A striking black-and-white ink silhouette drawing of the Bride of Frankenstein shows her profile against a solid black background. Her voluminous, textured hair is depicted in bold, white lines, creating dramatic contrast. Her neck, shoulder, and a hint of a garment are also visible in white. The high-contrast image has sharp edges and a graphic, stylized feel.
Bride of Frankenstein, Inktober, 2019

A year later, my jaw was dislocated, and I could no longer look down to sketch. Rather than give up my new passion, I swapped my sketch book for digital painting and photo manipulation.

A digital illustration of a minimalist cityscape at dusk features tall, simplified buildings in a pink-to-orange gradient against a pale pink sky with a faint sun. A dark blue foreground anchors the scene, where a solitary street lamp casts a bright white light onto a simple dark bench, creating a serene and ethereal atmosphere.

A surreal fantasy scene depicts a winged figure with delicate, translucent pink wings standing at the edge of a rocky cliff, reaching toward a woman in a flowing white gown. She gracefully swings from a glowing crescent moon, which emits a warm pinkish-red light, contrasting with the deep blue, starry night sky. Below them, an ethereal ocean-like expanse shimmers with bioluminescent jellyfish drifting through the air, casting a soft glow. The scene evokes a sense of wonder, longing, and mystical connection between the two figures, blending celestial and underwater dreamscapes into a magical, otherworldly atmosphere.

This turned out to be a lifesaver as I began having seizures, a long-term side effect from ECT. If I could feel one coming, I would whip out my phone and start editing. I would become calmer as I slipped into a soothing state of flow and lose awareness of the agonizing symptoms.

This digital artwork features a surreal and cosmic-inspired portrait of a woman. Her silhouette is filled with a galaxy-like pattern of deep purples, blues, and stars, giving it an ethereal appearance. A portion of her face appears to be lifting away like a mask, revealing a vibrant array of flowers underneath, including roses, sunflowers, and other blossoms in shades of red, yellow, and white. Butterflies, glowing with a soft light, float around her, enhancing the dreamlike atmosphere. The background is a soft, celestial sky with hints of clouds and light, adding to the mystical and transformative feel of the image.

Time spent making art would keep me calm and safe until the seizure risk passed, or if I had already had one, it would calm me down afterward and give me something worth remembering from a  hellish day I’d otherwise rather forget.

This surreal and dreamlike artwork depicts a man standing in a small boat on a calm ocean, painting the sky. He is dressed in white, wearing a sailor's cap, and holding a paintbrush in one hand and a bucket in the other. Above him, a massive, glowing full moon dominates the sky, but it appears to be melting, with dark, star-filled liquid dripping down into the blue sky below. The contrast between the celestial night sky and the bright daytime ocean creates a striking visual effect, as if the man is actively transforming one reality into another. The watercolor-like style and imaginative composition give the piece a poetic and whimsical quality.

Art also became a way to cope with the horrors from my past. Many pictures used in my story are photo manipulations I made as I processed the trauma I experienced as a child exploited and abused by the mental health system.

Then, in 2023, my phone itself became a seizure risk so I found new ways to explore art forms I’ve never tried before like painting and embroidery.

1980s style anime acrylic painting of a close up of a tabby cat's face. He is wearing a space suit, no helmet, looking off into the distance, with stars and galaxies as a back drop

an embroidery hoop. The design: Vincent Vangough's Starry Night

Looking Back

While hiking last year, I couldn’t help but notice the parallels between cactus life cycle and my journey as an artist after brain damage. Just like a cactus adapts and grows new life on top of its transformed base, I found a way to build new skills from the wreckage of my life after ECT.

Crawling Before I Could Walk

I didn’t have the right conditions at first. Without immediate help this recovery process took twice as long had I just been reffered for the right tests and support.

I had to focus on rebuilding my health and basic mental abilities, which took years of tapering off medications and finding the right medical care.

Once I was out of survival mode, I could start learning the skills I needed to build a new life and work through the trauma that held me back as an artist before ECT. Now art itself has become a foundational skill set that I can build more skills on top of.

Important Things I Learned in my Recovery

Tweet screenshot from the @Boii_McCoy: Maybe You're not healing because you're trying to be who you were before the trauma, that person doesn't exist anymore, cause there's a new you trying to be born. Breathe life itnto that person. 7/23/29

  • Grieving an acquired disability is normal—I had to honor who I was before ECT while making space for who I might become.
  • Addressing basic needs like health and safety was essential before I could grow as an artist.
  • Letting go of old expectations was essential—I had to approach art as a beginner.
  • And I realized that failed attempts trying to relearn a skill didn’t mean it was hopeless; sometimes with brain damage recovery, it’s just not the right time, and I should focus on other skills in the meantime.
  • There are some goals I had to give up after ECT. I give myself space to feel anger and sadness over these losses while also finding new goals to aspire to.

Starting Over (Again)

Five years ago my health collapsed in a way that felt like hitting a factory reset button. Everything I had worked so hard to rebuild over the past decade vanished as I grew sicker and started experiencing frightening neurological decline. I couldn’t manage basic tasks anymore. The carefully built abilities and habits that helped me navigate life as though I wasn’t disabled were gone. One again, I had to rely on my family for almost everything.

It felt eerily like waking up from ECT all over again—confusing, disorienting, and filled with a kind of terror that’s impossible to truly understand unless you’ve experienced this unique form of brain damage yourself. I was beyond devastated to find myself back in this place.

But I’ve been here before, and this time I knew how to find my way out. I knew could trust the process—I just needed time, rest, and stabilizing medical care. So for the past four years, I’ve been once again relearning how to live. Every day has been about figuring out how to do everything from housework, making a phone call, to running this website.

Life After ECT 2.0

In some ways, I’m worse off than when ECT first disabled me. But I’m learning to adapt, adjust my expectations, and build a life that fits within my new limitations. I make the most of my good days, and thankfully, my art skills were spared—they continue to make even the hardest days more bearable.

Seeing a dead-looking plant one day spring to life the next felt like a mirror of my recovery—this slow, hard-earned growth I’ve gone through time and time again.

I still have a long way to go. But after years of struggle there’s something deeply reassuring in witnessing the quiet magic of how life, even in the harshest conditions, keeps going.

a variety of small potted cactuses surround a embroidery hoop with embroidered cactuses in the center. Brown stucko background.

Summary

  • Post-traumatic growth is the idea that individuals can experience positive personal growth, strength, and new perspectives as a result of overcoming significant adversity or trauma.
  • Tragic optimism is a balanced way of facing hardships while holding onto hope and finding meaning.
  • We all have core needs that must be addressed so we can recover from ECT. There are existing resources that can help.
  • It’s important to honor the people we once were and look for the potential of who we can be in the future.
  • While life after ECT can be beyond hard, it is possible to find new passions and strengths along the way.
  • Skills you learn from hobbies can help other aspects of your life.

Read more ECT Recovery Stories

Resources For Life After ECT

Life After ECT Inc. is committed to finding ways to help people get the support they need to recover from ECT. My friend, Sarah Hancock, is doing similar work through her nonprofit, Ion Inc., and her advocacy with the Audit ECT Campaign. Be sure to check out her latest groundbreaking presentation on rehabilitation after ECT.

In the future, we hope to provide more specialized resources. You can learn about future projects here. In the meantime, here are existing resources that address common issues people face after ECT.

Brain Injury Resources

Cooking Resources

Disablity Identity, Rights & Community

Domestic Violence Resources

Drug Withdrawl Resources

Litigation

Financial Resources

Social Support

Testing Resources

Anna

Anna is a childhood psychiatric drug and a teenage electroshock survivor. She founded Life After ECT to ensure people injured by electroconvulsive therapy have easy access to resources that can help them understand their injuries and find a path to recovery.